I had never realised
That I was sick
Until I was told to be HIV positive
I had never realised
That I was uncircumcised
Until the day I saw my younger brothers dying in the bush
I had never realised
That I was living in poverty
Until the day me and my brother fought for a slice of bread
I had never realised
That I was writing poetry
Until the day utishala said poetry is for Humanity students
I had never realised
That I was lonely
Until the day my mother passed away
I had never realised
That uHlumile ndiyamthanda
Until the day she gave birth to my child
I had never realised
That I was black
Until the day she closed the window
Of her car at the robots while I was passing by
I had never realised
That I loved being an African
Until the day I saw young soldiers at DRC
I had never realised
That our fathers have too much love within them
Until I heard from the radio of a father making love to an infant
I had never realised
That I was rich
Until the day I was mugged in my own community
I had never realised
That I was reciting poems
Until today as I am standing here before you
And I had never realised
That I was living
Until the day my heart failed to beat the next beat.